Gotta give props

I’ve had better weeks.

Now, I made a promise with myself that when I started blogging, I wouldn’t be one of those angst-ridden, angry-with-the-world, wanting-to-detail-every-problem-with-my-life kind of writer.  I already know that I’m not that important.  Or interesting.

For now, I’ll simply gloss over the more unsavory events of this past week…

I ran into one of my high school best friends at Dollar General.  He was balding and grown into his height.  He was also engaged and it was awkward.  Shit.

I skipped my long run on Saturday.  I did not make it up on Sunday.

I did not skip any meals.  I added a whole month’s worth of desserts.

AND, I skipped the St. Patty’s Day Fun Run tonight at Fleet Feet.

Glossing over concluded, I’ll share the positive things that happened.

I finished Season 6 of “How I Met Your Mother.”

I did not get cupcake frosting on my sheets.

I picked up an extra shift of work.  Between the money earned, and the money spent on cupcakes, I broke even.

I saw Sean Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

So for the past 4.5 months, I’ve been seeing a guy named Sean.  I feel so lucky to have met him; he’s slightly older, smart, funny, and in amazing shape.  And the best part is that we get to see each other often.  Of course, our relationship really wouldn’t work out otherwise.  You see, Sean’s my personal trainer. 

I never thought I’d be the kind of person who would feel the need to hire a personal trainer.  Shoot, I ran a marathon!  Alas, I found out the hard way that once you stop running, you stop burning calories.  And, once you keep eating, you stop being thin.  Truth is, I was in a slump and needed a change, besides an increase in pant size.

I stumbled upon Sean late one night after I got off of work.  I did a Yellow Pages search for “gyms” in the Annapolis area and saw a listing for Fitness Together.  An inquiry into this told me that Fitness Together is a private personal training establishment.  For me, this meant that I would pay someone to kick my ass, without anyone else there to watch, and without me having to exert any effort to think up a workout and force myself to do it.  Sold.

As it turns out, working out with Sean has been the best thing I think I’ve ever done.  I meet with him every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning.  It’s his job to constantly find ways for me to say, “That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”  And I’ve taken it to be my job to constantly impress him with the amount of sweat that pours off of me (literally, puddles).  Last time I weighed in, I was down 13.1 pounds and finally out of the 160s.  Doesn’t mean it’s been easy, though.  In fact, earlier tonight I was sobbing to him over the phone about how I’ve been eating horribly and skipping my runs (good thing I pay him to listen).

But tonight, a tummy full of sugar has made me ready to “start over.”  Now that I’m a little over halfway to my weight loss goal, I’m ready to ditch the excuses, ditch the laziness, and ditch those goddamn cupcakes.  As Sean says to me before every torture-inducing workout session, I’m ready to, “do this thing.”

So, speaking of doing things, during my last fitness assessment, I was looking at all the client testimonials hanging up on the office wall.  There was a big empty spot and I told Sean I was going to put mine there.  And I still have every intention of doing that, once I reach my “official” weight loss goal  But in the spirit of starting over, I thought it’d be fun to write a testimonial to Sean and to all that I’ve accomplished up to this point.

Testimonial Question 1:

What do you like most about training at Fitness Together?

Fitness Together gave me exactly what I asked for.  The very first day I went in, I told those nice, sweet, adorable, polite guys that I wanted the hardest workouts possible unleashed upon me.  I wanted to be made to do things that I could never be coerced to inflict upon myself.  And, despite my glares of hatred and occasional threats to his physical well-being, Sean has never given me anything less.  In fact, that’s what I love about training at Fitness Together.

Testimonial Question 2:

Please provide us with a brief description of the results of your personal training program.

The short answer to this can be summed up in two words: Clapping push-ups.

But to elaborate, I actually started working out with Sean while I was rehabbing an injury I got while running.  The workouts Sean gave me were so ungodly intense and unbearable that before I knew it, six weeks had gone by and I was running again…and it was easy.  Sean made running feel easy.  Who is this guy??

It was only a matter of time before I was jumping rope like a (semi) pro and doing box jumps with four freaking boxes.  After every workout I would be so giddy with excitement that I’d go into work and demonstrate what I did on top of the counters and behind the yogurt machines.  I never did manage broad jumps down the sidewalk.

I’ve gone from doing 20-minute walks on my days “off,” to running 5 miles before work, and longer on the weekends.  I have more energy, more happiness, and a slightly smaller ass.  My results.  Have been.  Awesome.

Can we include a picture along with your testimonial?

Eat your freaking heart out.  

Before

After

 

Does this Menchie suit make me look fat?

It was great to be back.

Walking into that shoe-filled haven of stability and cushioning, I felt giddy with possibilities.  Only not for myself.  For my sister.  Today was her 29th birthday.

I had been waiting for this all day!  After having such a fun time buying and wearing, running and singing and dancing and jumping in my Newton running shoes, I was bringing my older-by-three-years-but-still-looks-younger-than-me sister to the Fleet Feet Annapolis.  She was going to buy her own new, magical, life-changing running shoes.

She was excited, and I was, too.  I had prepared her as best I could...
You will be forced to undress.  
Someone will be touching your bare-naked feet. 
You may want to find your toenail clippers.
If you wear socks, check for holes...they will be seen.
Chances are, there will be an audience.

As we made our way out of the car and across the parking lot, I remembered to tell my sister that she would also have to run some laps in each of the shoes that she tried on.  As she burrowed into her button-down peacoat jacket, adjusted her Happy Birthday tiara on her freshly straightened hair, and dusted off her brand new jeans, I thought it was kind of funny I didn’t mention that physical exertion would be involved until now.

We made quite a group.  Crammed into the store there was me, my sister, my brother-in-law Frank, and my nephew Isaiah (who is the cutest five year old in the whole world.  If you don’t believe me, ask him and he’ll tell you).  At the time we arrived, there was one other customer.  She made a hasty exit.

We were greeted by the same nice fellow that helped me with my shoe journey.  I believe his name was Paul.  Oh good!  It’s going exactly as I had hoped!  And as for my sister, her experience started off just as I had predicted.  She completely disrobed, leaving her socks and ankle-high heel boot things (I don’t know what they are.  All my shoes have laces) off to the side.  Later on she would tell me that her feet were sweating so bad from the boot things that she just knew Paul had noticed.  Didn’t you see him wipe his hands on his jeans???

I stood stoically by her side, tactfully turning my head at the more incriminating parts of the foot-measuring process.  It was a little hard to focus, anyway, between the flashes from the camera Frank was using to snap a few pictures of my sister’s poor, naked foot on the measuring plate.  I could tell the little thing just wanted to curl up and hide.

But before we knew it, Paul went behind the magical curtain and came out with boxes upon boxes upon boxes of bright, bold, fresh, little running shoes!  Oh, what a colorful and exciting assemblage of running possibilities lay before our very eyes!

One by one, my sister tried on each pair, braving the cold to test them for a few laps around the parking lot.  I watched as the innocent round eyes of her novice runner past turned into the quest of a seasoned runner searching for the perfect shoe.  Luckily, Frank’s efforts of jumping, bending, twisting, and possibly squatting inside the store to try to snap a few pics of my sister running past the window caught most of this on film.

Finally, she had narrowed it down to two pairs.  And, once Frank twisted her arm to get the more expensive pair that she really wanted but didn’t want to admit she wanted, my sister bought the shoes.  Her very own NEWTONS!

Wow, I could have jumped up and cheered!  What a glorious way to celebrate your 29^th birthday.  My sister had the bright, little, bold, little shoes, and now all her bright, little, bold, little running dreams could come true.  I am so proud of her.

Cor,

You should know that you are an amazing person.  You should never feel that you haven’t “done enough,” or that you haven’t accomplished anything.  I mean, everyone does feel that way sometimes.  Like, last week, when I ate half a dozen cupcakes (actually, scratch “half”), I felt that way, too.  But, the most important things in life, the things that actually matter, you’ve already done.  You are the most giving, sweetest, funniest, most fun person to be around.  You make everyone around you happy and everyone’s life is better for having known you.  That’s an accomplishment.

And, just in case you ever start to feel down for being 29, I want you to remember this day, your 29^th birthday.  Remember coming into my work?  Man, I was so happy to see you guys!  Remember going into the party room and seeing your gift, and balloons, and chalkboard message?  Remember opening your 13.1 magnet and Runner Mom headband?  Remember hula-hooping with your guys (and, I’m assuming, doing wayyy better…I saw the pics)?  Those are the memories I want you to always have with you.

And, most importantly, I want you to remember me.  Remember when I came into the party room and surprised you and Frank and Isaiah?  Remember how I dressed up as Menchie?  Yes, that’s right, please remember that.  I, at 26 years old, dressed up as a giant frozen yogurt.  I had on giant foam feet, enormous felt gloves, and a colossal swirl of yogurt on my head.  As hysterical as I thought it was to surprise you guys by dressing up as my work’s mascot, I want you to remember that this is my JOB.  It is my job to dance and jump and bounce and hug and high-five as an eight-foot tall frozen dairy treat.  I elicit a combination of fear, anger, happiness, and tears in children of all ages.  I have been  punched, groped, and declared a fake.  The tears may fall on the inside, but the smile never leaves the fro yo swirl on the outside.

So remember, Cor, this will be an epic and exciting year for you.  Now, on your 29^th birthday, you have your new, magical Newtons. All the possibilities in the whole world lay before you, and your little sister can’t say the same.

Love you, Cor,

Rhonda